Today, to cause massive amounts of salivation and desire in The Wife, I took a nice steak (tip cap or something like that … like who gives a shit what it was) and put it in a freezer bag with a marinade. The marinade consisted of salt, crushed peppercorns, parsley, thyme, olive oil, crushed garlic cloves, and some popov vodka.* It must now marinate for two to three days. And when it is ready, I shall broil it, and we shall eat gloriously.

Best way into a woman’s pants is through the button and zipper.

What are you looking at?!?

*Yes, I got the damn recipe from somewhere else. I didn’t say I was original … just competent.